Showing posts with label chronic pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chronic pain. Show all posts

Monday, October 1, 2018

Weekly recap 10/1/2018

This?

Was a looooooooooooooooooong week.

Made even longer by the fact that my weekend was absolutely crammed full, so there was just no down time, but hey, better full than empty, right?

Let's get down to that recap!


MONDAY

Always super fun to wake up early on a Monday morning to a kitchen full of ants, amirite?

Yeah, no. I killed all the ants, and after breakfast with my daughter, I completed my basement chores, started a loaf of French bread, and cut up tomatoes and began roasting those in preparation to turn them into sauce for dinner. I cleaned up the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, and started a load of my son's laundry. My daughter and I did her Reading and Geography lessons (we virtually traveled to East Timor, and this was a country I had to look up online in order to find on our map, since I'd heard of it, but had no clue where it was located. That's one of the reasons I love doing this with her so much; we both get so much out of it!), and then I was off to PT.

After PT, I baked the bread, hung the laundry, blended up the tomatoes for sauce, and sliced the bread in preparation to make garlic bread to go along with the spaghetti for dinner. I tidied my kitchen mess, then read my library book while my daughter snuggled with me and watched TV. She had a bit of a cold- nothing serious, just a runny nose along with feeling run down, so it was nice to spend that time just snuggling with her.

After dinner, I picked up my son from his late choir rehearsal, did my PT exercises, finished one library book, and started another before bed.


TUESDAY

 School mornings move quickly for us. I tossed some beans into the Instant Pot, cleaned the kitchen, then unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, and did Reading Lesson with my daughter before driving her to school. When I got home, I decided I needed some cardio in my life and hopped on my exercise bike in my bedroom for 30 minutes. Usually I watch Netflix when I do that, but Netflix was in the midst of some sort of tantrum and wasn't working, so I just read my library book while I biked.

I picked my daughter up from school, and then at naptime, I used the beans I'd cooked earlier to make some sweet potato chili, along with some corn muffins.

YUM!


After I finished working in the kitchen, I was sitting in my chair in the living room when, all of a sudden, my foot started...whooshing.

That sounds crazy, doesn't it?

So, at some point this summer, my left knee started buzzing. Like, it felt like a constant buzzing in that knee. Kind of like tinnitus, ringing in the ears, but it was a buzzing, and it was in my knee. SUPER annoying. I realized immediately that it was a nerve issue and took the gabapentin my doctor had prescribed for the nerve issues caused by my back and within about two days, the buzzing had been turned off. I told my doc about it at my next appointment, and she had suggested bumping up the amount of gabapentin I was taking by taking two pills a day. I tried that and, uh, it made me feel drunk, to the point where I was stumbling down the hall and almost fell several times in the shower. As the buzzing was controlled by one pill, I noped out of two and that was that.

Until Tuesday.

This...was not good for me. At all. More on that in a moment.

When my daughter woke up, we did her Geography lesson (Ecuador) and went to the library. After dinner, I read more of my library book, picked up my son, and did my PT exercises.


WEDNESDAY

After my basement chores, I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, then spent a bit of time trying to wipe my cat's rear end with a baby wipe, as one does when said cat has poo stuck to the rear-side bottom of her tail (it was about as much fun as you imagine it might be, and she reacted just as one might assume a cat would react to such a situation. Not my ideal way to spend a Wednesday morning, but you do what you have to). My daughter and I breezed through her Reading lesson, I started a load of laundry (the blankets we keep on the couch, in preparation for my mom sleeping there), and then I dropped her off to school and ran to Aldi, where I was appalled to find that the two pound bag of cheese had shot up in price to $6.69. YIKES. I came home and put the groceries away, and...

I was NOT in a great mood this day. My foot was still buzzing and whooshing- let me try to explain that a little better. The buzzing is pretty self-explanatory, but the whooshing...You know when you're sitting in, say, a bedroom with a ceiling fan that's running, and there's kind of this low, underlying, humming, whooshing sound that the fan is making? That's what it feels like is going on in my left foot all the time, along with the occasional cold flushes and pins-and-needles moments. And to be honest, I would take pain over this, because it's the equivalent of having someone poking you in the face constantly. It's impossible to block out or NOT notice. It's always, always taking up some sort of space in my brain when it's happening, it's THAT obnoxious. So along with the pain that grocery shopping always seems to bring because of my back, THIS was going on, and I was feeling pretty upset and sorry for myself. So I sat down and scheduled an appointment with the office of a spinal surgeon my doctor had recommended back in August.

This is not to say that surgery is imminent or even the best course, but it's time to look at what all my options are, and what he thinks I should do based on these symptoms. I'm also going to ask him if he thinks seeing a pain specialist is a good idea- my regular doc had suggested that, and my PT says there are things they can do, such as burning out certain nerves/nerve endings (I'm no neurologist, so please, correct me if I'm wrong here) to make the buzzing in my foot shut up. If he thinks that's the way to go, my PT has recommendations for me, so I'll schedule an appointment with that person. As it goes, I see the spinal doctor's assistant this Friday, so we'll see how that goes.

The offending foot. Be angry at it with me.


After picking my daughter up, we stopped by two grocery stores and my back was pretty toasted after that. I threw together some Cauliflower Potato soup for dinner at my daughter's request (she was still feeling under the weather and loves that soup), and after resting enough so that my back wasn't screaming, I did what everyone does when they're feeling sorry for themselves and made an apple pie.

Right? Everyone makes homemade apple pie when they're considering sawing off their own leg? Yes?

Somewhere in there, I tossed the washed couch blankets in the dryer and put them back on the couch when they were done. After dinner, I took my son for a haircut, stopped by the library so he could grab a few books, and then it was home for pie. 

With ice cream, because that's the only way to eat homemade apple pie.



That evening, I cleaned the kitchen, did my PT exercises, and finished my library book.


THURSDAY

My daughter slept in later than normal- probably that cold- so we got a late start to our morning routine, which meant no reading for her. After I dropped her off, I drove to a library in a neighboring town, but due to road construction, the drive took way longer than usual. I was just there to drop off books, so when I got back to my town, I didn't really have enough time to go home, but it wasn't time to pick my daughter up yet. It was a nice day out, so I ended up just sitting in my car and reading for a while. Not a bad way to pass the time. :)

After picking my daughter up, I worked on a blog post for later on, took a brief nap, ran the dishwasher, then took the rest of the afternoon off and derped around the internet. Everyone needs that once in a while. :)

I picked my husband up, then met my mom back at our house, because she was going to my son's choir concert with me (my daughter is still a little wild yet to trust that she'll sit through concerts, which can sometimes last for over two hours. I may try her at the Christmas one, but I'm not certain yet). When my son's acapella group took the stage and began singing, I was like, "Huh, they've got a drum or some sort of synth going, making the beat, that's weird...", and then I squinted and realized that that was no drum, THAT WAS MY SON, BEATBOXING.

OH.

MY.

GOODNESS.

You guys!!!! He was SO GOOD!!!!!!!!! He'd talked about beatboxing before (if you're not in the know, beatboxing is using your mouth and/or vocal cords to mimic drums or things that make a beat), but there was some behind-the-scenes drama involving the song they were performing related to the fact that they'd only had three or four rehearsals and weren't certain they could pull the song off at all- my son wasn't even sure if he'd be performing on the song the day before. But he did, and I had NO clue he was THAT talented at beatboxing!!! He told me afterwards that he'd been so nervous the whole day that he hadn't even been able to eat his lunch (and so he gave his food away to someone who hadn't brought dinner- he didn't come home after school, so I'd packed a ton of food), but it didn't show at all. And this isn't just some sappy mom talk- I would have had no problem admitting if he hadn't been good at it, but jeez. He seriously was. I have ZERO clue how I managed to give birth to a beatboxer! :D

My mom spent the night after the choir concert. :)


FRIDAY

Basement chores, followed by unloading and reloading the dishwasher, then...

Early morning PT! (Which explains why my mom spent the night.) LOTS of planking, and discussion of my new symptoms with my physical therapist. My right side is still significantly weaker than my left and we're still trying to figure out exactly why- like, I knew going in that my right side is my bad side, but we're not exactly sure what's causing that muscle weakness. When I walk, sometimes I kind of scuff my right foot on the ground- not purposely, but more like my body isn't lifting my right foot up high enough to not do that. It's not a new thing, but something I'll have to mention to my therapist, because it fits in with that right side weakness, I think.

Seriously, I'm kind of a mess.

After PT, it was home to change, and then my mom and daughter and I went to Target (I bought some Glade Plug-Ins for the basement). For lunch we ate at CoreLife Eatery. They recently opened in my area, and HOLY COW, this place is delicious. I got the Spicy Thai Tofu and Noodle bowl (it's on the menu as chicken, but you can customize all of their stuff) and it was AMAZING, ALL THE CAPS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. If you're lucky enough to have one of these in your area but haven't gone yet, GO NOW. NOW NOW NOW. It's that good, and I'm already looking forward to going back.

We stopped by Mariano's to pick up their free Friday download- a cup of Yoplait yogurt- that I had optimistically added to my card that morning (I'm almost never over on that side of town in time enough to pick the Friday download up, so this was nice), and I ended up getting some frozen pizza while we were there, because I wasn't going to have enough time to prepare dinner, and this would save us from paying more for takeout. My mom went home, my daughter (who had missed her nap) threw a tantrum, and when that was done, she and I raced over to an evening yard sale at a local church, where I bought a bag of clothes for her for five dollars, and a Christmas-themed apron (which may or may not fit me; I haven't checked yet. If it's too small, my daughter will get it) for one dollar. Not too bad! The church is right by the train station, so my husband met us in the parking lot, and we went home for frozen pizza.

I did my PT exercises and watched a few episodes of American Vandal (a fairly crude Netflix comedy series; it's funny if you don't mind that sort of humor) with my husband.


SATURDAY

I was up early this morning for a college visit with my son, the first of several, I'm sure. He's a junior this year, but we're getting a start on figuring out what the best path will be for him.

Campus was lovely!


He loved the school and was really excited about the Music Ed program. It's close to home and would be an ideal place for him, both for the distance and the superiority of the program, but financially, it would leave him with huge loans, and that's even if he could get in, so while it's at the top of his list, I'm trying to encourage him to not put all his eggs in one basket, and to remember that he can always do a year or two at community college (both to save money and to get his GPA up- it's struggling a bit due to his slacking a LOT his first two years of high school) and come in as a transfer student. We'll see. :)


There was a sukkah on campus, which made me happy. :)


After our visit, my son and I had lunch together. I ran into the library to pick up a book from interlibrary loan, and then we drove home. I cleaned the kitchen, washed the clothes I'd bought from the yard sale the day before, then made a chili cheese quiche with leftover chili from earlier in the week (bean chili, no meat or any other animal products, so it was still good). A little untraditional, but it was PHENOMENAL (and quiche is an excellent way to use up leftovers). It was so good, I made a second one with the rest of the leftover chili and put it in the freezer for my son's breakfasts this week, and then I made a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. I recleaned the kitchen, did my PT exercises, gave up on a book from my Goodreads list (I read 84 pages but just couldn't find any relevance to my life in those pages and figured it was time to move on), then watched another episode of American Vandal with my husband before going to bed.


SUNDAY

Off to my mom's to visit and attend a parade in her town. This was an all-day event and we didn't get home until late. We had a really nice day, but oof, it was hard on my back. My QL muscles on both sides, along with my neck and shoulders, were pretty much screaming when I went to bed.



And that was my week! I shouldn't be THIS tired at the start of a week, should I? This week, I've got two PT appointments and a doctor appointment, along with the regular grocery errands, picking my son up from choir rehearsal and scenery, cooking, cleaning, I'm reading a library book and have four more waiting for me... I need to fit a nap in there somewhere. Wish me luck. ;)


How did you do this week??? 


Friday, September 7, 2018

Friday thoughts 9/7/2018

Cooler weather is here! I was finally able to open the windows yesterday and it's glorious. It rained on and off all day yesterday and I relished every second of it. Do you enjoy rainy days as much as I do?

Let's get down to the interesting things I found online this week!



*9 Hard Truths About Clutter You Need to Hear*

I had to scroll back in the blog and make sure I hadn't posted this before. Articles about clutter and mess have been following me around lately and I'm okay with that. They've gotten me to the place where I question everything I buy. "Do I really need this? What I am going to use this for? When am I going to use this? Can I use something that I already have instead?" are all questions I ask now before making a purchase. Other than some shirts for my son for Christmas, I'm struggling to think of anything I've bought in the past few months that hasn't been something I'll eat, use up, or give away. 'Everything you own is something you have to take care of' is something that has truly struck a chord with me, especially since I spend SO much of my time taking care of the belongings of my family (who have not embraced this clutter-free philosophy, unfortunately), and 'Eventually someone will have to decide what to do with every item you own' has been a theme this summer, with my mother and her siblings having to go through my grandmother's things. (Not that I expect anyone here to go through my things; they'll probably just let them sit there forever! You remember what my basement looked like, right? The one full of not-my-stuff that I finally broke down and cleaned because no one else would? Point made).

Anyway, clutter is a problem for me. Are you bothered by it as much as I am?


*This Woman's Viral Thread Notes A Never Discussed Symptom of Depression and Absolutely Everyone Needs to Read This*

Show this to everyone you know.

It was a relief to me to read this. Not to know that others struggle, but to know that I'm not alone in struggling exactly this way. While my depression is in check, my anxiety is not, and this is one of the many ways it manifests. For me, it's phone calls. I'm deeply terrified of making phone calls, especially to official things like insurance companies. I'm fine if someone calls me, but calling other places literally fills me with a dread so encompassing that it can move me to tears, and I can put something off for weeks, freaking out about it enough to cause health problems, but still completely unable to make that call.

Is that rational? No. I know that. But anxiety isn't rational, nor is depression. It's not something I can control, nor is it something I understand how to free myself from. I've found certain methods to cope, but I've never truly found a way to rid myself of it, and it's honestly pretty defeating when those close to me roll their eyes and tell me to just get over it, like trying to listen or understand isn't worth the effort. Huffy sighs and eye rolls won't erase my anxiety; it only serves to make me feel worse about something I have zero control over. And that's not fair.

If someone you love suffers from depression or anxiety, read this article. If you suffer, share it with the people you love. Maybe you'll have better luck than I have at gaining a little understanding.


*How to Unclog an Upright Vacuum Cleaner*

One of my next tasks! We have hardwood floors throughout the house and tile in the basement, but we do have a few area rugs, and the one in the kitchen is getting pretty dusty and gross because earlier this summer, I noticed my upright, bagless vacuum cleaner (which isn't very old and has barely seen any use because again, three area rugs total) was basically just spitting whatever I vacuumed up directly out the back. YUCK. So I dug up this link this week and once I get a chance, I'm going to sit down and try to figure out what's going on. Hopefully this link will help me out!

Have you ever repaired your  own vacuum cleaner?


*6 Things About Chronic Pain You Didn't Know You Knew*

All.

Of.

These.

Things.

Pain is exhausting. There are so many days where I reach the end of the day and it just feels like I can't move another inch, my body is so worn out. Sleep? HA! If only it were that easy. Far too often, there's just no comfortable position, and sleeping when you're in pain is like trying to fall asleep with someone constantly poking you and going, "Hey. Pay attention to me. HEY! YOU! PAY ATTENTION!"

Pain makes me crankier than I'd like, shorter than I'd like with my daughter (the exhaustion feeds into that as well). It makes me have to consider if I can tolerate certain activities before committing to them (which makes others cranky with me, as I experienced this past weekend). It makes it hard to concentrate- when you're in pain and trying to focus, it's like trying to watch a math lecture and take notes (because there will be a test!), but there's a radio blaring full-force right behind your ear. I once came home from a biology class with pages full of notes but ZERO understanding of any of the material because I'd been in so much pain throughout the class that I was sweating. (Huge thanks to Khan Academy videos for helping me to understand the Krebs cycle!) And it definitely damages my self-esteem. It's hurtful when loved ones don't get it, when they get irritated with me because of my pain. Do people with more visible medical conditions struggle with this? Do people huff and roll their eyes at cancer patients or people who have seizures? I honestly don't know. It's just exhausting to deal with others' indifference or disdain, an exhaustion I don't need because, well, pain. It's one of the reasons I push myself to get so much done so often, because I feel like NOT getting a ton of things done will just cause people to assume I'm lazy, instead of just being in pain.

If you know someone who struggles with chronic pain, a little understanding goes a long way. "What can I do for you? What do you need me to do?" goes a long way (but only if you actually follow through!). I know it's not always easy or fun to deal with someone who is hurting, but it's so, so appreciated when you make the effort.



Jeez, those were a lot of bummer articles, huh? Sorry about that! I haven't had a ton of time this week online again; physical therapy and my son's schedule break my days up in weird ways, so when I'm actually home, I'm usually racing to get everything done that I need to (and usually having to leave at least a few things out because there's just not enough time). This schedule will continue for a while, so I'm just accepting it as my new normal and carrying on. As one does. :)

Have a fantastic weekend! :)