What's Been Going On: Monday, 11 April - Wednesday, 13 April, 2022

 Good morning, friends! It’s been a seriously rough week around here…but, as always, there’s reason for hope. Even though I’d like nothing more than to crawl back into bed and sleep for about eleventeen thousand hours…

Here’s what I’ve been up to so far this week.

 

Monday, 11 April, 2022

I had coffee and edited and posted Monday’s post, then got dressed.

My daughter came out of her room, upset because she couldn’t find something. I’ve shown pictures of her room before; it looks like someone took a toy store and shook it as hard as possible before setting it back down. It’s no surprise she can’t find anything there. This turned into a full-blown tantrum, but I managed to get her settled down enough to start math.

Spelling, however, caused another tantrum, and that took so long to stop that we only had time to read a book about how water has been made safe to drink throughout history. Pausing for lunch was a relief.

Unfortunately, she had another tantrum about her messy room after lunch (and blamed her friend for messing it up. Said friend hasn’t been in our house since December of 2021, and I’ve cleaned her room multiple times since then…). Once she calmed down, we finished the biography of Roald Dahl, and we began a book on photography during the Great Depression.

When my husband got home, I fled the house for errands, because hoo boy, did I need a break. I stopped by Walgreens to pick up two inhalers, went around the block to the library so I could return some books, picked up a few items at Walmart, then went next door to Sam’s Club for various things (hummus, vegan acai bowls, carrots, toilet paper, yogurt, and some chickpea spinach nuggets, and a chicken for my husband).

At home, my daughter threw another fit. I heated the chickpea nuggets, and we had dinner. I did my Duolingo, then did a 31-minute yoga video. I showered and put dinner away, then read my book. My husband and I watched an episode of Deadly Women before bed.

 

Tuesday, 12 April, 2022

After coffee, I finished reading Self-Reg by Stuart Shanker, and got dressed. I loaded the dishwasher and tidied the kitchen, and then it was time for the first tantrum of the day.

By this point, I was exhausted. I just couldn’t fight her anymore, so I went into the kitchen and prepared a batch of tomatoes for roasting. They went into the oven, and I ran the dishwasher and swept and tidied the living room. I spent the morning knitting and reading, instead of doing school. Not quite my ideal for a weekday.

After lunch, I blended the roasted tomatoes in the food processor, cleaned up, and lay down on the bed. I needed it, badly. I’d had a stress-induced muscle spasm in my neck that morning that made everything from my neck to my ribcage hurt (and it’s still incredibly painful). My husband got home and took our daughter out for a walk, and I made a batch of cookies and prepared the salad and salad dressing.

I hung out on the computer for a bit and picked out a new library ebook (This Close to Okay by Leesa Cross-Smith), then boiled the spaghetti and heated the sauce. We had dinner, I did my Duolingo and ran the dishwasher, then I did a 27-minute yoga video to relieve tension. I showered and put dinner away, put my daughter to bed, and read my book. My husband and I watched one episode of Deadly Women before bed.

 

Wednesday, 13 April, 2022

After coffee, I made out my grocery list. My husband and I had decided that our daughter might be receptive to a chart that marked the days without a tantrum or argument, so I grabbed one of her rewritable board toys to make that…and she immediately started arguing with me about using it (I didn’t even get a chance to explain what it was for), and I was just done for the day. How much constant arguing and tantrum-throwing can one parent be expected to handle??? (This isn’t entirely new behavior; she’s always been one to argue over everything. In my Facebook memories the other day was a post about how, when she was two, she asked me to read a sign for her, and when I told her what it said, she threw a huge tantrum, screaming that I was WRONG. There was also the time she was obsessed with ballet, so we found a YouTube kids’ ballet class, and within a minute, she threw a tantrum, wailing and screaming that that was NOT ballet and the teacher was WRONG. OY.)

I sent my daughter to her room before I started to yell (I hate yelling), then emptied and refilled the dishwasher. I did an hour of volunteer work (Tennessee really doesn’t have a lot of organizations that offer help for victims of sexual assault…), then I went upstairs and lay down and cried for a bit. Just so totally worn out.

After lunch, my daughter was settled enough to work through a unit of math, and we worked on spelling and Language Arts as well. We finished reading the book on photography in the Great Depression, and I made her a page of math and spelling to do when I was gone.

I stopped at three separate grocery stores (lots of produce this week!), then ran – quite literally – to the library to return books and grab another; a storm was on the way and I wanted to get home before the 60+ mph winds started. I did get completely soaked bringing in the groceries!

I put the groceries away and cooked the pizza, and we had dinner. My neck and shoulders were really sore, so I skipped exercising for the night and took a shower. I put my daughter to bed – we finished reading What Katy Did by Susan Coolidge and started reading Follow My Leader by James B. Garfield. I read my book, and my husband and I watched one episode of Deadly Women before bed.

 

The good part, the reason for hope, is that tomorrow, my daughter and I have an appointment with a counseling practice about 15 minutes away. They were able to get her in right away with a therapist with over 20 years of experience. She and I very obviously need some new tools in our collective toolbox to help her manage her disappointments and frustrations. I don’t want her behavior struggles destroying her education, and I definitely need strategies for pulling her out of her tantrums and shutting down her arguments when they get started. Nothing I’ve tried has helped or been effective so far, so I’m crossing all the things that this therapist can help us forge a healthier relationship and get my daughter started down a path of better behavior. Wish us luck!

I very much hope your week is going smoother than mine!