Friday, January 11, 2019

Friday thoughts: 1/11/2019

I don't know about where you're at, but the weather turned bitterly cold here this week! I've been huddling under some blankets when I have time to sit down. I don't mind the cold, but it sure would be prettier if we had some snow- we may get an inch or two tomorrow, but nothing major. Boo on that!

I've got some interesting links to pass along this week, so let's get started!


*C diff Spores on Bedsheets Survive Hospital Laundering*

Eek.

Passing this along as an FYI, in case you or someone you know may benefit from this info. I have a cousin who is hospitalized often and who has had numerous C diff infections, and maybe this is why. What with the growth of antibiotic resistance, these infections are no joke.


*Thinspo, Houseporn, and the Tyranny of Unrealistic Expectations*

YES.

YES. YES. YES.

If you read any of these links, this is the one. Naomi (whom I know, and who is awesome, and who is a fabulous writer; Cat Pictures, Please was one of the best books I read in 2017, and I'm not just saying that. I don't normally enjoy short stories, but I loved every story in this book) discusses the overlap between internet fitness photos and the HGTV-inspired house photos that look like no one lives there, and how unrealistic both standards are, and how terrible they are for the mindset of most people.

"With both food, and stuff, in the span of a few generations, we’ve gone from needing to work hard to bring it in, to having to vigilantly spend a lot of time and energy keeping it out," she writes, and the accuracy of this statement is jarring. I'd never thought of it in those terms, but it's so true. There are so many things I enjoy that I actively keep out of the house- Oreos, Cheetos, peanut butter M&Ms- because they're not good for me, and I feel the same way about items that are just going to become excess clutter. It's straight-up work to keep stuff from taking over (papers, kid art projects, that item you said you'd use but never got around to), just like it's difficult to constantly say no to foods that tempt us, or difficult to work it off when we've eaten too much.

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And the loss of identity is killer. When you're Mom and nothing but Mom, when you get zero validation for your efforts day in and day out (your cleaning is immediately messed up; your food disappears close to immediately, there's no one to say, "Hey, that's awesome! Great work!" and make you Employee of the Month, etc, or you tell your spouse, "Hey, look at this closet I organized today!" and the response is, "I don't feel like it right now"- happened here last night), you start to wonder what all of this is for. Why you even bother. And it's not something you understand until you're in that situation. When all the things you once defined yourself by are now not things you're able to do, it's devastating to your image and your sense of purpose, and you mourn. You mourn deeply. And it doesn't mean you don't love your kids or that you're not grateful to be able to stay at home with them. It just means that being the stay at home parent isn't all fun and games all day long. Much of it is just flat out drudgework. It's laundry, it's vacuuming and sweeping and digging stuff out from under the couch, it's making food that at least one person will complain about or not eat, it's getting up every time you sit down because your kids need a-drink-of-water-can-you-get-this-button-Mama-I-pooped-oh-no-the-cat-threw-up-can-you-fix-this-hey-I-need-a-ride. It's exhausting, and if you don't regularly get breaks, you begin to feel like an unpaid servant, and all used up.

I'm not saying that working moms have it easier- they have their own set of challenges, difficult ones. We stay at home moms just have different ones, and far too often, they go unnoticed, because we're shamed into silence. And this isn't to say that I'm in this place right now, just that I've absolutely been there. My daughter goes to kindergarten next year (we actually register her next month!), and while I'll absolutely miss her, I'm looking forward to having time to focus on my own projects all day long and not being in full-on crisis mode, cleaning up mess after mess and delivering drinks of water every three seconds!


And that's it for this week! As long as I'm feeling up to it, we've got a family get-together on Sunday that will involve traveling the better part of the day, so I'm hoping my achy right hip gets itself together and stops this constant pain- car rides when you're hurting are NOT fun. Been there, done that, many times. I hope you all have a pleasant, relaxing weekend!!!

2 comments:

  1. Re Imodium, would psyllium husk work instead. From what I can gather, it has the ability to firm stools as well as soften them?

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    1. Hmm, that I'm not sure, I don't honestly know anything about it. I do know people that are on maintenance doses of Immodium for life, due to after-effects of chemotherapy, and they're really upset about this. :( It's just one more hassle they don't need, you know?

      The article mentioned how the stores may still sell a two day supply. I'm guessing we won't see any price change between what they've been selling, and the small number of pills they will sell, because that seems to be how companies work here. Ugh.

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